“‘The pregnancy itself was fine,’ she recalls. ‘But after my water broke, I wasn’t having any contractions, and they had to induce me.’ After Akers was induced, her labor was long and painful. ‘But I never dilated past 2 centimeters,’ the 27-year-old mom from Baltic says. After a Cesarean section, her son Jayce was born.”
“Last year, at Sanford USD Medical Center, 38 percent of the babies were delivered via C-section. At Avera McKennan Hospital, 31 percent of the babies were delivered that way.”
These are two quotes from an article regarding cesarean births. If you were a pregnant woman, which article would you be more likely to read? Most likely, you would choose the first article. Why? Because it tells a story. It involves the reader on the emotional level.
The inverted pyramid style of writing for news has been useful and remains so, especially in online news. However, just as in newspapers, some stories can be told better by emphasizing the entertainment or emotional side of the stories. I looked at three online articles to see how they were written and if there was a better way.
The two quotes above are taken from an article in the Argus Leader about the increasing number of cesarean births in Sioux Falls, S.D. It was written in the “beyond the inverted pyramid” style. It featured a mother of four who had had a C-section with her first baby and then had to fight the system to have her second baby by natural birth. The article drew in the reader, much better than a inverted pyramid style would have. Just reporting the statistics would have produced a dull story.
The next article which was about Wal-Mart gaining Target’s customers was well written in the inverted pyramid style. It stuck to the form, giving the reader the important facts first, then going into market share, Target’s plans, etc. However, I think the author could have approached it from another angle. He could have found a family that was representative of the customers who had switched and written from the family’sperspective. This would have made it more personal and perhaps encouraged more readers. The story also would have given him a reference point for the future to report whether Target is able to regain their customers when the economy improves.
An article about the launch of the space shuttle Endeavour was also written in the inverted pyramid style, which was the appropriate way. As a reader, I wanted to know who-what-when. The article had several links, one of which was a video featuring the astronauts. This added the feature side of the story. There was also a video of the actual launch. I think this article with videos and links was well done.
